Granpa Simpson Rant

I marvel at how the days fly by, and I can't account for what I've done.

Today for example. I've slept badly the whole week, so I was glad it was Saturday, which means I can sleep in. But you can do that everyday, you say, it's not like you have a job to go to. True. But I don't sleep in everyday. I get up at 7:30 to get The Boy breakfasted and out the door to school. Then I tidy up the house a bit. Then I fuss and fret. That takes a long time, and it's exhausting, the fussing and fretting.

And I ruminate about why my whole body hurts. My muscles must be really under-used and dumb. Yesterday, all my stomach muscles started hurting. I had trouble bending over. And if I coughed, well I have to hold on to the phone with 911 dialed and my finger on the Send key. It's because I went to the gym three days ago and did stomach crunches for the first time. My muscles don't hurt the next day. They hurt three days later. It takes that long for them to realize they've been strained.

And I go to the bathroom a lot. When I was young, I only went once a day if that. Now I go every hour. Where does all that water come from? Maybe I should stop drinking so much tea.

Jeez, It's 10:30. I forgot I had a birthday party to go to tonight. Wonder if it's too late to show up. It's my friend's 50th. Ah, forget it, she can turn 50 again next year if she wants.

But I did re-arrange the furniture today to make room for the Christmas tree, which I forgot to get tonight. I mean, why did I move the furniture if I wasn't going to getting the tree?

I'm doing a good take on a Granpa Simpson rant or what?