1. I think Assicons are funny.
2. When I run out of chocolate chip cookies, I run out to get some more.
3. When I run out of potato chips, I run out to get some more.
4. I pile today's dirty dishes on top of yesterday's.
5. I jump out of my skin when the birds chirp.
6. I break the power cord on the answering machine then put the plug back in place and pretend it's not broken hoping someone else will come long and fix it. Right now, that someone'd be The Boy.
7. I change my bedsheets at night because I forget I had changed them in the morning.
8. When The Boy's friends phone and he's not home, I chat to his friends about their day and what their family members are up to. The Boy tells me later not to do that again because he gets embarrassed. I object because how can he be embarrassed when he wasn't even there.
9. I walk everywhere as much as I can hoping to bump into people I know. When I bump into people I know and they say, Hey you're not working today, I say, That's right. I don't tell them I haven't worked in over a year. And I don't tell them about little gigs I've done. Then I feel guilty wondering if I've lied.
10. I drink at least six cups of mint tea a day and pee all day, then I convince myself I am incontinent.
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