It's the morning after, I still feel nauseated. It's like a hangover. I overdosed on chocolate last night. I don't mean to sound so diva-ish, but chocolate addiction is real. Google "chocolate addiction" and see.
I eat chocolate bars in stacks. I eat chocolate covered anything. If something comes in a chocolate flavour, I will eat it, even those meal replacement diet bars. My favourite ice cream is chocolate peanut butter. I eat brownies only because there's chocolate in it.
I make chocolate runs late at night. I get really, really mad at The Man if he forgets or refuses to bring me back chocolate.
Once, I stood by a chocolate fountain all night and dipped, non-stop, wishing I could chug back the pool of melted chocolate the way people chug back beer. When no one was looking, I bent down and let the chocolate waves gush into my mouth. I got chocolate on my face, in my nose and in my hair and had to hide my mess and stifle my sputterings of chocolate as I ran for the washroom, but it was worth it.
It's not that I eat chocolate. It's more that I eat lots and lots of chocolate in one sitting, often. I am sure that if I stopped eating chocolate, I would lose weight.
So that's what I am going to do. I am going to not eat chocolate for a whole month starting today. My friend Outrageous has quit smoking. The Boy has quit drinking Coke, now into his second year. I can go without chocolate for one month. Cold turkey.
Oh no. Valentine's Day in February. Also my wedding anniversary. Okay, all the more reason I need to kick the chocolate habit now. It will be difficult and I will be tested. Mind over matter. My self-discipline challenged. No chocolate for one month.
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Excerpt from Creative Chocolates advertisement out of Texas (where else?). Bone Appatit....
We all know that the Cheeseburger is the American Staple food. Between home grills and those millions of hamburger stands scattered throughout the country, everyone knows what's for dinner (or is it lunch?).
Anyway, we have decided to make our own twist on America's favorite fast food. Try a 100% chocolate cheeseburger with solid peanut butter and milk chocolate buns and milk chocolate hamburger patty. But why stop there? Through the use of our own secret chocolate recipe, we've added soft green chocolate lettuce, soft yellow chocolate cheese and don't forget the ketchup. The lettuce and cheese are so life like that we even use this recipe for our spaghetti and the mashed potatoes in the TV Dinner.
Sitting just over 4" in diameter and 2" tall, this burger weighs in at about 1 lb and is enough to fill up even the most hearty of appetites and to quench the STRONGEST sweet tooth. Personally, we wouldn't think of eating it all in one sitting!
Hmmm, solid chocolate cheeseburger...
That's why you have trouble sleeping. Chocolates contain bromophylline. It's a stimulant much like caffeine.
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