New Leaf?

I almost applied for a job last week as returning officer in our ward for Elections Canada. It's a part time gig with a 10 year appointment. But as the date of the deadline drew near, I started having nightmares each night. Nightmares of being overwhelmed, of coming up against mysterious obstacles in things I normally excel at doing, of things falling through my hand and disappearing, of not fitting in. Nightmares that woke me in the middle of the night with a pounding heart that won't let me go back to sleep.

I don't know what that's about. They stopped when I decided I wouldn't apply for the job. Maybe it's not the kind of work I want. So now, what then? I feel I am ready to get back to work.

Maybe I need to take a couple of steps back and go through the process of evaluating what kind of work I want to do and what kind of work environment I want to work in. That'll be my main task for January.

I confess now I look forward to school starting tomorrow and having the house back to myself during the day. I've spent all week trying to organize The Boy to attend appointments while he is out of school. The Man has gone into some snit where he pretends I don't live here. This is an untouchable mood for me and I've learned to leave him there.

So I can't wait to have them both out of the house during the day and see if I can make better use of my time this year.