Those Sexy Boys

A friend and I were talking about the appeal of professional athletes. We agree that soccer players are the most desirable.

Physically, they are the most beautiful and graceful. They are trim, they have muscular legs, they run like the wind, and they all have this thing about their hair.

When the camera zooms in on them, you see them sweating, hair flinging, and they smile with good humour, knowing they did so foul even as they throw their arms saying, What? What did I do? And when they writhe on the ground after tripping over someone, you know they know that we know they are not hurt.

I like that players on opposing teams are camerades of the game. They extend an arm to help each other up when they are on the ground. When someone may truly be injured, opponents come to check them out and pat them on the back when they get up. When a team loses, you see the players are truly emoting. It tugs at a woman's heart to see a beautiful, sweating man cry.

Compare that to hockey players and football players (North American egg ball). You can't see what's under their bulky uniforms. And when you do see them, you see burly, toothless guys with cuts and black eyeliner on their faces. The real sport for hockey players is to hurt each other.

What about baseball players? Some of them are plain fat. When they are not, they are prissy.

And basketball players? They are so tall you feel like you are looking at a freak.

Tennis and golf? Prissy, prissy, prissy. Except when they act like bad boys, then they are just spoiled brats.

My friend is one of the organizers of the local soccer festival this year. I'm sure that for next year, we can come up with some kind of workshop for men on how to look yummy, like you are in the middle of a soccer game, even if you are not a player.