Airheaded

I often make like I am high brow, but I can be as vacuous as the next gum-popping bimbo.

I was in a shoe store today and while the store manager was fitting me for the right size, a sales clerk came in to work. She was a twenty-something and carrying a magazine, which she immediately took over to a colleague and they poured over the magazine photos, oohing and aahing. I heard snippets of "baby" and "...lina". I knew exactly what they were talking about.

When the sales clerk got on the floor to work, I said to her, "Was that THE baby?"

We exchanged a look of immediate understanding. "Yes," she said.

"Oooh...lemme see, lemme see."

She brought the magazine out from the back and said to everyone in the store, "This is $4.1 million you're looking at."

I said, "Presenting, the new Jesus."

She showed a copy of the latest People magazine featuring Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and their child, Shiloh on the cover. She flipped to the middle pages to show more photographs of the baby and parents. We hovered about making more oohing and aahing sounds.

I said to the sales clerk, "Only people who read gossip columns know that People paid $4.1 million for these photographs."

She said, "Yeah, I read...and...and..." She listed the gossip websites she frequents. Turns out, we visit the same sites! So she went, "Did you read that blah blah blah blah?" and I went "Yeah. And what about blah blah blah blah."

The manager finally said to us, "You two have to be separated." To the sales clerk, she said, "You get back to work." To me, she said, "You continue shopping." To which I said, "No, I need to get a job here so we can talk about this kind of stuff," indicating the sales clerk and me. Then we all laughed.

Such a blast.

I did buy some shoes. Now that I am home, I am glad to see they are the pair I wanted.