My Favourite Friends

Our neighbour, Rick, came over for lunch the other day. The Man calls him "my brother from another mother", as he's been calling all his friends lately, but Rick was the original brother from another mother.

I said, If The Man can call Rick brother from another mother, then I can call Rick my husband from another marriage. Rick said he's tired of that job. He's been husband to many women, without any of the benefits of a real marriage. He just gets called on to help out, then he's sent home to his own bed.

But what does he expect? His wife helps to arrange some of these calls. So I said, You gotta convert to Islam so you can have four wives or you gotta get your wife out of the picture as broker. Rick is one of our favourite friends.

When we came home from Deerhurst, we drove into the driveway and were greeted by three bigger-than-life snowmen with arms spread wide, waving at the street. Our next door neighbours had build three snowmen on their front lawn and decorated each with branches from their Christmas tree. That meant while we were away, Toronto had a big snowfall.

This house belongs to Kai, my 5-year-old neighbour, and her parents. Her father, John, was our message therapist. Five years after we stopped going to him, he phoned one day and said, "Hi neighbour." The Boy now sometimes babysits Kai.

John and his wife, Caitlin, were the neighbours who fed my fish while we were away. A sign of their presence in our house is, one of my plants that had been growing bent over with the roots jutting up in the pot had been righted. It was replanted straight. John is the gardener in that family. He's given me many cuttings in the summer that have bloomed beautifully in the fall. I know it was John who righted my plant. John, Caitlin, and Kai are some of my favourite friends.

A few more doors over live Andy and Lucia and their three kids. They go camping with us each year. The Boy sometimes babysits their kids too. When they were last away, I went over each day to feed their fish. I still have their key.

Andy is a mumbler. That is, sometimes I have to get really close to hear what he's saying. But I love talking to Lucia. She is so much fun, smart, generous, and easy to talk to. I think it's because we share a similar sense of humour, we don't take ourselves too seriously, and we cut each other a lot of slack for saying stupid things without meaning it.

Lucia and I decided that because we don't originate from a WASPy culture but are married to men who do, we share a world view common to people who accept that generations of a clan can live in the same house or compound. That is, in addition to having a similar temperament, we have the same need for a tight, extended family, and we value independence and individuality at the same time.

We are going over to their place for dinner tonight. I expressed concern they would be cooking for us after work when they are already busy with three kids, so why don't they come to our place instead. Lucia said, "Don't be silly, I am just going to buy take-out chicken." We are that comfortable with each other. Andy and Lucia are some of my favourite friends.