"I've been through a lot in life, and some of those things actually happened." - Mark Twain
I like this quote by Mark Twain. The idea resonates so well in all my discussions with Dr. Noggins.
Today, I started to talk to him about my nightmares and what they may be telling me about why I'm not working. One thing led to another, he asked me about my relationship with my grandmother, I told him about my rescue syndrome, he said he felt my saying I didn't want my grandmother to feel her efforts had been in vain was significant, I said I think my paralysis has to do with my believing my options are either being a failure or being a fraud and I don't want neither.
It was a complicated session.
I still can't sort out what we were talking about and how we came to talk about it. But now I wonder, how much of what we feel is real? Is anything real? Rather than gaining insight into myself, I think I understand better what Buddhists mean when they say everything is transient. We suffer when we form attachment to the illusion of permanence.
2 comments:
I recently had a shrink session that went this way too. Complicated course to discovering that my tendency to sabbotage my own success is related to Dad's habit of embarrassing us by simultaneously bragging about our accomplishments and denigrating our cultural abilities in public. I was also left wondering about the nature of reality. We should talk and construct our realities together.
I know, you're thinking, but aren't you a therapist? The therapy I administer is more like "You're dying of cancer? Aw, that must really suck". That approach works too.
Sylph,
Looking back upon your writing you've endured these struggels or challenges, you've continued on with renewed resolve, greater experience and a disire to maintain a happy home. You've been able to see through and look beyond all the vain persuits of the world we live in today. So don't worry so much.
"wonder"
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