Emo Mom

The Boy wants to dress up as an emo kid for his school Halloween dance. An emo kid? What's that? I looked up pictures of emo kids on the net.

For one thing, they wear mostly black - black cap, black T-shirt, a black hoodie, jeans, running shoes. I said to The Boy, "How's that different from what you usually wear, except your clothes are mostly red?"

"No, mom. It's not a baseball cap they wear, it's a cap with a rounder hat part. They usually have the name of some obscure band on their T-shirt, and their jeans are skinny. And they wear black nail polish and eyeliner."

"You mean they're like boy goths?"

"Kind of. But they're emotional and make a big deal about it."

"How so?"

"They mope around acting all depressed. And they talk with their chin jutted out. After school, they write in their MySpace blog stuff like, 'I was so depressed today, I could've killed myself. My mom won't give me my new cell phone till tomorrow 'cause that's when my birthday is. God, I could've died waiting for tomorrow so I made sure my mom and dad were home and I came downstairs and I tripped so I really fell. Then I wanted to kill myself even more. So I'm going to listen to my hardcore band, Simple Plan, so I can feel better.'"

"I get it. They're drama queens in goth. So if I'm an emo mom, I would say things like, 'You didn't even touch your dinner and I microwaved it myself. I'm so stressed out I could die. I'm going to listen to my funk rock music, The Lemon Sisters, so I can feel better.'"

"You can't be an emo mom. They don't exist."

"But I think I'd like to try being an emo mom for a while. Maybe I can start a new trend."

"You frustrate me."

But before I did that, I helped The Boy get his outfit together. I mean, like, I sewed his jean legs to make them skinny and I bought him a round cap and I even bought black nail polish for him and everything. He never even said thank you. I think he just takes me for granted. I'm so depressed I could just kill myself. I'm going to listen to my meditation tapes so I can feel better.