Why You Should Always Be Well-Groomed

School is still out for The Boy. That means we laze about in the mornings. At noon today, I was still unwashed and in my sleep duds. A knock came on the door.

It was the FedEx man, to pick up a parcel that was delivered to us by mistake. He was a handsome and safe-looking FedEx man. The kind I like to flirt with knowing he'd be professional and never go too far. But there I was all unwashed and frumpy, hair standing up, maybe smelling bad.

He asked me to fill out a form, which I had trouble doing because I couldn't read the small font without my glasses, which were nowhere to be found. Seeing my difficulty, he offered to fill out the form for me. So I let him. He was well-mannered and thanked me when he left, as any young buck would thank an old lady out of politeness.

Later, I e-mailed my friend to let her know her parcel had been picked up. She asked if the FedEx guy wore shorts. Apparently, they compete to see who could stay in shorts the longest before switching to pants when the winter hits. But why did I already have knowledge of FedEx guys in shorts? Because oh my god, when I answered the door and saw the FedEx truck outside, I glanced down quickly to see if he was wearing shorts. He wasn't. It happened quickly, in a split second. I would not even have remembered doing this if my friend hadn't asked the question! Where did this brand of FedEx boys in shorts come from?

So. I missed an opportunity to be flirtatously charming because I wasn't ready. Need to keep in practice for The Man, you know.