My nerves are rattled.
The Boy makes me crazy when he doesn't organize his things, then last minute asks me to help him find what he needs for school. This morning for example, as he's leaving the house, he said, "Oh I almost forgot, I have to wear dress clothes for a band photo today." So we scramble about the house getting his jacket, shirt, tie, pants and shoes together. We couldn't find his things anywhere. I get bitchier during these times.
"After your last concert, when I asked you to put your things away, what did you do with them?"
"I don't know."
We root through all the closets and drawers. He found his white shirt in his drawer and complained, "Why is it in my drawer?" Which makes me mad. Because I had ironed his shirt before giving it back to him and I see it's all crumpled up now. But no time to re-iron. He's already late for school.
He went through the closet and couldn't find his jacket. I went through the same closet and pulled out his jacket. I am furious now. "Oh, is that my jacket?" is all he said.
But his pants were no where to be found. Already, these are women's pants that don't match his jacket because last year, for one of his evening concerts, he took his white shirt and suit pants to school and lost them on the subway on the way to school. He told me this when I arrived at the school to watch the performance. As an emergency measure, I bought a pair of black pants from a women's used clothing store near his school. It was the only shop that had black pants that fit him, more or less.
He has said to me after the last two concerts, "I need a new suit. My friends are making fun of me." But he has never made time to go shopping with me for one. My offer is firm: You want a new suit? You put aside four hours and go shopping with me. Over the Christmas holidays, I badgered him a couple of times about it, but no, he would rather... watch TV, hang out with his friends, do nothing.
And now, he can't find his things. I am totally unsympathetic.
In the end, I gave him a pair of my black pants and wished him luck, trying not to tear into him. I do remember him mentioning to me last night when we were out that he needed his suit. But when we got home, we both forgot about it. Even as I am seething at him, I do feel some guilt and anger at myself for having forgotten.
He's late for school and my nerves are all shot. Just one more thing that makes me feel I am not in control of my life.
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This is very typical of my daughter's behaviour. She'd rather play on the computer, chat with her friends on the phone, watch TV instead of attending to what's needed. This kind of last minute scrambling drives my wife to the brink of a nervous breakdown. She actually has heart palpitations. My daughter in fact adds to a bad situation by losing her temper and yells at her mother in the most disrespectful tone when the whole thing is my daughter's fault to begin with. We were hoping she would grow out of it. We were hoping maybe it's a hormonal thing. My son's are'nt like that. Maybe girls are more affected by those hormones that farmers feed the chicken and pigs to make them grow faster and fatter. We should stop feeding her these hormone laced pork and chicken, especially the chicken skin, which she loves, and which probably contains the highest levels of hormones. So, now I know. It's not hormonal and it's not because she's a girl because the Boy is like that too and we have to put up with it at least until her early teens. We have long talks with her about these episodes and withdraw privileges when they happen, but it does not seem to decrease the frequency or severity of the incidents. All part of parenthood.
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