Wake Up

This morning, my friend phoned to tell me about her son, Sonny, who organized a party at his friend's house last weekend, against her advice. The Boy dropped in the party with his friend but they left when a lot of people arrived and things seemed to get out of hand.

The end result is, Sonny's friend's parents were supposed to be in the house supervising the party. But they weren't. They gave permission for the party, then went to Mexico. There were 150 kids on the guest list. They would collect an admission fee to cover some of the costs. Someone arranged for bouncers. The bouncers texted about 1,000 people to let them know about the party. 800 people showed up. $6,000 was collected.

Someone stole the $6,000 and the laptops Sonny brought to the party to sync the music. These laptops belonged to my friend and Sonny. With no money to pay the bouncers, the bouncers started to pound on the door and broke it. The police came. They confiscated three kegs of beer. Sonny's friend's house was trashed. To lessen the impact of the damage, my friend put out $800 to repair their door so the house is at least safe until the parents get home.

Sonny is now sick and demoralized, no doubt due to the stress. He's lost all his homework and notes with his computer. My friend is looking to replace both laptops. It was a bitter lesson for Sonny, who just wanted a good time and trusted his friends.

Ten minutes after this phone call, The Boy's school phoned me. The vice-principal asked me if The Boy's Friend had dinner with us last night and whether we served alcohol. I said no, Friend and The Boy both came to the house after school. They each had a burrito, then went back to school for the evening performance. She said she was trying to verify Friend's story. He was intoxicated before the performance and said he had dinner with The Boy's family where alcohol was served.

When The Boy came down to get ready for school, I asked him how Friend was and how he got alcohol between leaving here and getting to school. The Boy said they had some whiskey here at the house. Please explain I said.

Friend had a small bottle with him. When they got to our house, they each had a burrito and a shot of whiskey in The Boy's room.

All hell could have broken loose. I felt it. But I contained myself and said, "That is not cool with me, sneaking alcohol into my house to drink, and drinking it before a performance."

He said, "But I am 17. I will be off to university next year. Everyone drinks at least a little. We're teenagers. You can't expect us to wave the alcohol in your face and tell you we're going to drink it."

"True. We've never been strict about alcohol in our house because we don't drink a lot. We even offer you wine at dinner. The occasional drink is not a problem. But it is not okay to sneak whiskey in the house when you are under aged, and drink before a performance regardless of how old you are. The school's policies are very clear about that. There are reasons for these policies. Legal, practical, and moral ones. You are under aged, drinking impairs performance, and responsible people don't encourage minors to drink where school activities are involved.

You are an adult soon. A responsible person would have said, I have some whiskey with me. Would you to have a drink with me? I would have said no thanks. And if you are a responsible minor, I might have added I don't think you should drink before your performance."

"We didn't do that because...we're not adults. But we probably wouldn't have drank if you said no."

"The fall out of what happened is, because I didn't know you drank, I've now made Friend into a liar. If I call the school to correct that, I will need to drag you into it, and it will sound like I don't know what's going on in my own house. And now, I will be very suspicious each time you come home with a friend, go up to your room, and close the door. It's bad all around."

He assured me this was the first time they've drank between school and a performance, that now he knows I am not fine with it, and that he will go to school and talk to Friend and resolve the problem, then let me know what happens.

Good morning.

Aftermath: The Boy got to school and was called in to the principal's office with Friend. They fessed up everything. The principal decided not to pull them from performance and no permanent record will be filed. However, they are banned from tonight's cast party, and after exams, they will have to spend a few days washing the school lockers.