Stealth Operation

Whoo, that was so stressful and anxiety-ridden. I dropped my car off at mom's in the dark of night, travelling on side streets, and lurking in shadow to avoid detection by police.

The Man comes home for a visit tomorrow and I rented a car for the two weeks he's home. I need my parking spot so had to unload the Volvo somewhere. My mechanic wanted to charge me $20 a day to park my car in his lot. That'll be $340 to park a dead car just so I can trade it in later. I decided to take it instead to mom's, where she has a parking pad but no car.

But getting the car there was a problem. I didn't renew the Volvo's license plate in March since it was no longer road-worthy. Legally, the car shouldn't be on the road. And if I take it on the road anyway, what about the billowing smoke from the oil seeping into the engine and burning off as exhaust. I can call CAA to tow the car. They will tow from anywhere to a garage or to my house, but not from my house to someone else's house.

So I loosened the oil cap and dip stick to ease the pressure of oil going into the engine, then drove the car at night to mom's, hoping I would not meet the police on the road. The car runs, but lacks pick up power. It is sluggish. It emits little puffs of smoke as soon as I leave the house, and the longer I drive it, the more smoke it produces. By the time I got to Bloor Street, I had a giant white plume of a tail reaching into the sky.

Lo and behold, on Dundas, a police car was coming towards me. I can lie and tell the police the billowing smoke started as I was driving home tonight. But what can I say about the car license plate being expired? I eased off the gas to diminish the smoke and coasted down the road as the police car and I pass each other. I felt like a fugitive in disguise trying to pass off as someone else. Fortunately, the police car didn't stop me. I turned south off Dundas as soon as I could in case the police changed their mind.

I parked at mom's and looked around to make sure no police car had followed me. Mom was at the window. She came out and said, "Oh so much smoke. Fills up the whole street."

I left my car there for now. My heart took 10 minutes to stop pounding. Then I got on the streetcar and came home. It felt like I had dumped off a dead body.