My Book Club

Here's the thing about my book club. We all read the selected book, but we discuss it little when we meet. We say things like, What's with the dead dog he carts around in his car trunk, I think she's been bitchy all her life, Was he really gay or was that an accident?

Sometimes someone brings a list of discussion topics downloaded from book club web sites. We go through each question quickly. For example, How had Tom's character changed by the end of the book and what contributed to this change? We say, He was a jerk at the beginning and didn't know it. He was still a jerk at the end but he knew it now. His wife and girlfriend left him at the same time. When the thugs and cops came to get him, he tried to rat on his father but even the thugs said he crossed an ethical line so he had to accept he was just a jerk.

We have no patience for profoundness.

Then we eat. We always have wonderful food. The person hosting the meeting provides the main course, others bring everything else. Ours is a gourmet dinner club of mostly meat and vegetables by necessity. One woman has celiac, so no gluten at all. One woman can't eat seafood. One can't have dairy. One eats only kosher. One can only drink a certain Australian white wine. We all have to watch our weight.

When I host, these are the simplest meals to prepare. Just a meat with rice or potatoes. Except last night. I grilled chicken and beef. But I forgot soy sauce, which I used in the marinade, contains wheat. So I also did lamb chops in rosemary, lemon, and garlic to provide a gluten-free choice.

We talk about our kids, parents, mutual friends, what we're doing, what we're dealing with at home and at work, for those who work. We don't complain, indulge in self-pity, or patronize each other. We never talk about our husbands except to say, How is your husband?

It's through what we say that I realize we share common approaches to life. Last night, I found out that we all hang our clothes out in the sun to dry when we can, we all shop for groceries with reusable shopping bags, we aim to change our bed linen every week but realistically manage a change every two weeks, we've all been driving cars more than 10 years old and are either looking for a new used car, or just obtained one. We've known each other for more than five years. We have spent weekends, New Year's Eve, family dinners, and some vacations together. We have attended funerals of each other's family members. Slowly these little details of our habits surface.

It's in this way - the discovery of how we live, that I spend a few pleasurable hours with my book club friends every few weeks.