In the last two days, I said to my mother several times, "My doctor's appointment is at 11:15. If I am lucky, I will get to see her by 11:30. I should finish by noon so I will call you then. I'll call you around noon, but probably after."
At 11:55, I finished with my family doctor. I phoned home to check for messages. I picked up this message from mom:
Sylph, it's 11:30. Did you try to call me? Do you have your cell with you? I phoned you but your cell phone is not on. Do you have it with you? Why haven't you called me?
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At the herbalist's, the translator said a few things to the doctor that made the doctor laugh. I don't speak Mandarin, but I understood some of what they were saying. I heard:
- Her mother has to accompany her because she's a "native born" and can't speak the language.
I said - I am not a native born. I was born in Hong Kong.
- These native borns don't speak Chinese.
I said - I speak Cantonese, and I understand what you are saying.
- She speaks a few words but doesn't understand the Chinese principles of medicine.
I had nothing to say because it was true.
- And besides, doesn't matter how old she is, she is always her mother's daughter. She'll be looking after her mother soon enough.
I said - I look after her now.
- She still needs her mother. ...Something something I really didn't understand.
I don't know if I was annoyed. The translator and herbalist didn't sound disrespectful. They were just talking and commenting on us. But I thought, damn, that's a cultural trait, talking about someone in front of them in a language they don't understand, as if they aren't there. Mom does this all the time. But both mom and I understood some of what they said. Still, not enough to be spoken to directly despite my interferences in their conversation.
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After we saw the herbalist, mom said, "Where do you want to have lunch?"
I said, "I don't really need food right now."
"Well, you have to eat. You haven't had anything all day."
"I had breakfast this morning. I could eat now, but I don't want to go if you've already eaten."
"I had some oatmeal in the morning."
So we went to lunch. I ordered two dishes to share with her. The waitress brought the food. I dug in. Mom sat there watching me.
I said, "Here, you have this bowl of congee."
She said, "I'm not really hungry."
"But you wanted to come to lunch."
"So you could eat."
"You said you only had some oatmeal in the morning."
"Yes. Just before I left the house to meet you."
"If neither of us are hungry, why did you make us come to the restaurant?"
"Because you haven't eaten today."
"I ate. And do I look like I am at risk of dying from starvation? How can I lose weight if you keep tricking me into eating?"
"You still have to eat while you are losing weight."
8 comments:
You have my empathy. Unfortunately, truly my empathy. I understand. It's hard being us.
I've learned with Mom that you have to stick to your guns.
I found a way to annoy her in a fun manner to make her stop. For years, every time I walked into Wolseley, she would offer me food. After having said, "no thanks" a dozen times, she would still make the offer. One day, I walked into the house and said to her, "OK, let's get this over with and we can move on. Go ahead and offer me something to eat, I'll say, 'no', you ask me again, I'll repeat 'no', and we'll keep doing this until you get it out of your system." She started to laugh and yell at me at the same time but she got the point.
Now, she doesn't even bother to ask when I go over to Wolseley as she knows we'll have to go through this scenario again.
Hey Sparky you forgot to mention the part where you swear and cuss in Chinese which translates into something like "fuck your mother's stinking cunt"
What? There is such a swearing phrase? How come I never learned it? Who have you been hanging out with to learn it?
Holy Mozes, slim what kind of a rudeness comment is this. You should only think it, not saying it.
And Sylph I like your Mom , not you guys have a hard time , but she does, with a bunch of outgrow children.
"wonder"
Hey --I like Sparky and Slim - say it like it- is I wish I had your spunk! Mothers can be difficult at the best of times- Obstinant at most- I include myself as a mother in that category.
For the record, and you know this Slim, I may have utterred that phrase at large but have never directed it at anyone. Yes, I've used that phrase in Mom's presence but usually in reference to something she's said and not at her.
Same thing at work and at badminton, everyone knows that I swear like a whore in heat, but I'm just cussing in general and not at anyone in particular.
You sure that phrase doesn't mean something like, "May your crops stink to high heaven (hence, you won't have a good harvest)?" That's pretty evil too.
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