The world of teenage relationships is foreign to me. Friendships between boys and girls are so...so girlfriendy.
Last night, I woke up at 1:30 am to find The Boy on the phone in front of the computer. He hadn't been to bed yet. He was downloading music and talking to a friend at the same time. I walked into the room and he jumped.
"Jeez mom, you scared me," he said.
"Why aren't you in bed?"
"I'm talking to C-girl."
"Why isn't C-girl in bed?"
"'Cause she's talking to me."
I left the room and he resumed his conversation with his friend. I don't know C-girl. I just know she's a girl at his school.
This afternoon, The Boy came home from a rehearsal and said, "I'm going to T-girl's to play my video game, then we're having a sleepover."
I went out for some groceries and came home to find a silver SUV in my front drive. The Man said, "He's got two girls upstairs." The Boy had his fastest rock music cranked up loud, shaking the house down. Then The Boy came down to look for snacks for the girls.
"Whose car is that in the drive?" I asked.
"T-girl and C-girl have come to pick me up."
"Whoa. They drive? I don't think I'm comfortable with you in a car with a teen driver."
"T-girl drives. She's a good driver. Her parents trust her and let her use their car." True enough. That silver SUV looked like a parent's car.
I took some pistachio nuts upstairs to the girls to meet them. Where were the girls? I found them nestled in the middle of The Boy's bed, fully clothed, with the duvet over their legs, curled up very comfortably eating The Boy's cereal out of the box. It would have been normal if The Boy was The Girl.
Is that what girls do these days when they visit a boy? They go into his bedroom and get in his bed? Sylph, don't be a square, I cautioned, Don't embarrass The Boy. They seemed like nice girls. They looked me in the eye and said hello. Then I left them.
When they took their leave, they came to the backyard where The Man and I were to say goodbye. The Boy had his video games and an overnight bag packed up. There would be several people at T-girl's house and they would play video games, watch movies, and go to sleep.
I don't know what to make of all this. A part of me objects to teen boys and girls spending the night together. But there is something so happy, innocent and direct about these kids that I don't think they are secretly having group sex.
I remember a friend who outfitted her house so that there are two large rooms in the basement. It's for their teenagers and their friends to hang out. The girls sleep in one room, the boys in the other.
I remember The Boy telling me he wished our house was bigger so he could have his male and female friends over for the night.
So I think they are upfront about what they are doing. And besides, I trust The Boy.
But all this is so strange to me and I don't know the rules.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
The Boy is 16 and hormones are raging. Ask the Man what he was like at 16. I find it hard to believe it's all so innocent unless the Boy is gay. But, you can't ask him directly because of this trust issue. You trust his judgement. You have been a great mom so I trust your judgement of him. It must be as innocent as you say.
Can't wait for the wall unit to arrive, clear out unwanted furniture and put more chairs in his room. We'll see how innocent then.
Perhaps the two girls are an item, and the boy is just acting as their Beard. Whatever the case, I'm sure he'll find his place in it all.
It may all appear innocent, but teenagers will be teenagers in any generation. Wasn't there an article in the Globe and Mail a few years back which discussed how girls as young as 13 and 14 were engaging in oral sex to be "accepted"? In fact, a colleague's 17-year-old daughter has been on the pill for almost 2 years.
Just because the one-eyed jack doesn't appear in your bedroom as frequently these days, don't think he doesn't appear in the bedrooms of teenagers with as much frequency as he can. Teenage boys can only slap the salami so often. No one to blame, it's human nature to want to hump.
I don't even know what you are talking about, but it sounds like projection. Bet it's wishful thinking.
Just curious...Does The Boy read your Blog?
My closest friend and I have been talking about our kids, how they've been maturing (physically and emotionally) and what will they be like when sex and relationships become more prevalent in thier lives. We came up with the same feelings... as long as our children learn to genuinely respect the opposite sex, have a great deal of self-esteem, feel compassion, are honest with themselves and others...then we've done our jobs as parents...in particular MOTHERS!
With reagrds to what Sparky said...there was an article written by ? Wong. Although it was written about children whose parents seemingly were not as involved as you are Slyph. (passing judgement I know) I want to be able to give my children the benefit of the doubt... trust them, and let them experience life...with me and The Dad as safety nets. You and The Man are, and always will be, providing such a net. I look up to you guys...kep up th good "work"!
The Boy does not read this. He's too busy and thinks my blatherings are irrelevant to his life.
The long and short of this episode with the girls after some careful querying of The Boy:
- The girls just finished rehearsal and dropped a friend off near us so they came to pick up The Boy.
- They were tired from rehearsal so fell in The Boy's bed and asked for snacks.
- T-girl's house has five bedrooms. They played video games. Then the girls went upstairs to bed. The boys crashed in the living room in front of the TV.
- The parents were home and provided food.
I don't think anyone had salami.
Post a Comment