Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Secret Vices

Here I thought my secret vices were truly my secrets. But The Man just sent me an article that the Globe and Mail picked up from Associated Press about my favourite celebrity gossip blogger, Perez Hilton. How did he know?

I read about the break up and hook up of Brad, Jennifer and Angelina, and saw all the photographs of the baby Brangelina, relished in all details of crazy Tom and zombie Katie, and devoured the photographs of their gorgeous baby, Suri. And now I can't get enough of the divorce about Britney and FedEx, formerly K-Fed. It's just such dirty fun.

The other celebrity gossip sites I go to? The main ones are:

They are all trashy, but I think these may be the trashiest, but still coherent.

And I really like Spam meat. I buy a can once in a while. The Man and The Boy won't go near the stuff. Snobs. That means I get to eat the whole can, which I did this week. Sure, you feel sick after, but it's really good eating, like chips, only fattier.

I collect books on housekeeping. Sure it's a vice. That's like buying all kinds of exercise equipment without actually using them. I mean, owning the equipment doesn't get you fit. What more can you do with a house that my first book on housekeeping doesn't already cover? The rest of the books are just variations on the same theme. I know, buying housekeeping books doesn't make my house any cleaner either. Martha Stewart has a new one out - Martha Stewart's Homekeeping Handbook. I want it.

But at least I am not on drugs. Oh I am. I don't drink. Not often. And I don't smoke. Not regularly. I am overweight and unemployed. Shaddup and stop writing. Stop writing already and don't act like a crazy person.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you've found your religion....afterall, Cleanliness is next to Godliness.