How We've Changed

There was a time when giving a present of a household appliance to your wife was the most insensitive thing a husband can do. What am I thinking of... The Honeymooners, Jetsons, Flintstones? The picture in my mind is of a husband giving the wife a blender for her birthday and she hits him over the head with it.

I guess back then, in the sixties and seventies, to show your wife appreciation and recognition as a woman, a husband would give jewellery, lingerie, trips away - the exciting and glamorous things a wife supposed was missing out on at home.

When I looked at the gifts one can get online today, I saw mostly household appliances - coffee makers, waffle irons, toaster ovens, irons, even washers and dryers. So here's the question. Are marketers trying to sell us stuff by telling us it's okay to give household appliances to a spouse for a present? Or have our values and needs changed so much that we now really appreciate household appliances?

Because family time is so precious now, maybe we want homey stuff that improve the quality of time we spend at home as a family. Kind of like getting married or moving into a new home. You give and get items that say togetherness, at home safe and sound, doing homey things like getting nourished and cleaned.

Which makes me look at The Boy. When we had our Thanksgiving dinner a few weeks ago, we set separate tables for adults and children. I set a place for The Boy at both tables so he could hop between his young cousins and the adults. But I forgot to tell him I had set a place for him at the adult table. After dinner, he said he was miffed that he had been treated as a child.

This weekend, when we set the table for another dinner party, we had everyone sit at the same table. After dinner, the younger kids ran off to do their own thing. The Boy, who enjoys being with his young cousins and friends, stayed mostly at the table with us, removing dishes and taking part in the conversation. Sometimes, he went away to set up games for the younger kids, then he'd come back to the table.

The next day, I told him it was a pleasure having him with us after dinner. He didn't know what I was talking about; he was just doing what felt natural and hadn't noticed he was spending more time with the adults. I left it at that.

But I remember The Boy's older girl cousins, who are in their twenties now. They used to play with younger kids until they turned 13 or 14. Then they starting preferring adult company and gradually hardly spent any time with younger kids. No denying it. The Boy is changing.