Grand Dame

One of our dinner guests last night was my friend's 80-something-year-old mother. She is a slim, fragile, bent-over woman who needed her walker for every move. Friend took her out of her old age home to come for dinner. I was honoured she came, for she is a feisty, delightful grand dame!

I would invite her back just to hear her compliments. She said things like, I love your house, it's so warm and comfortable, it's a reflection of the people who live here...I love your laugh, it's so musical, I could listen to it all day...Everything about this meal is wonderful. Daughter is right, you are the best cook I've ever met.

Another friend said she had a 22-year-old daughter. Grand Dame said, "Your daughter is what? You're not serious, you look about 22."

Thing is, Grand Dame says all these things with seriousness, sometimes as if she's muttering to herself.

She talked about life at her old age home. She said several times, "I'm so glad to have dinner here tonight because you know, I live with a bunch of old farts."

Finally, I had to ask, "How old are they?"

"Oh they must be in their late eighties and early nineties. I feel like a teenager beside them. What we need are some men in that boarding school. The women are so cliquey."

"You live in an all-women home?"

"No. Men can live there too. They just don't last as long. Two just moved in, but one of them is gay."

"How do you know?"

"I know him from before. His children used to come over to the house all the time. It was a big deal when he admitted he was gay. His poor wife must have been devastated."

We talked about movies and shows. Another friend talked about seeing Jersey Boys the musical and how much she enjoyed it. I told them about Mama Mia the movie and what a lark it was to see Pierce Brosnan, Meryl Streep and Colin Firth sing and dance with frills and bell-bottoms. The Grand Dame knew who all these actors were! She said she loved Mama Mia the musical because it was so much fun. She loved that everyone left the theatre with a big smile on their face and you felt so light.

We talked politics. "I'm so disappointed in that Harper," she said, "And I've voted Conservative all my life. He's a bully. He's only done things that are bad for the country, and the good things he said he would do, he didn't do them." Which took us into a discussion about the Security and Prosperity Partnership, which I think Harper is using to create a North American Union where we will use the Amero for currency. A merger with the U.S. and Mexico. The outrage Grand Dame expressed at the very idea of losing Canadian sovereignty! "I will not vote for that man tomorrow," she said.

When she was getting ready to leave, the temperature outside had dropped. Stooped over and clutching onto her walker, she said to her daughter, "Would you button my shirt up? I don't need to look sexy any more. Actually, I have not needed to look sexy after your father."

"But what about those men you want them to bring in at the home?"

"They'll be old farts. I want to have fun before I turn into one of them."

See why she needs to come back.