Contrasts

At least I didn't have Indian food again on Friday night. Nope. I had African food.

I went to a book launch and heard the contributors for an anthology on the empowerment of black women in Canada talk about their experiences as well as the experiences of their foremothers. The presenters organized African music and African food for the evening.

It was an eye opening evening, mainly because the contributors to the anthology were young women. I am sure some of them were only in their twenties. Yet, they have such insight into African culture and awareness of their place in history, so much so they can theorize about and articulate their awareness and write academic papers on the subject. These women also have incredible family support to pursue higher education. Some of them are executive directors of health services organizations for black women, lawyers who do international development work, some hold PHDs in feminist studies. Some brought their young children, husbands, and elderly mothers to the book launch. They all delight in the music of their culture.

Contrast this with my mother the next day.

- Tell your sister to quit her job. The work is too hard.

- Mom, she spent 20 years going to school so she can do the job she's doing. What do you mean the work is hard? She's not a physical labourer. She has the education, knowledge and experience to do her work.

- The hours are too long.

- She has chosen to work that way.

- Tell your brother to get a regular job at a pharmacy and close down his store.

- How would he benefit from that?

- So he wouldn't have to worry about if the business can survive.

- He works four days a week, he has great flexibility, he is his own boss, he makes a good living, he knows he can get a job at a pharmacy whenever he wants. Why should he shut down now?

- So he wouldn't have to worry about when he should shut down later.

I took her to a coffee shop that serves free trade, organic coffee and tried to explain the concepts to her. She didn't object to the ideas of free trade and organic food. But I could sense her weighing the cost of buying free trade and organic versus the much lower cost of mass production. Then I pointed at The Healthy Butcher, an organic meat shop, across the street.

- When shops like these come into an area, they attract people with money. Eventually, these shoppers move into the neighbourhood and the price of houses go up. Your house could be worth a lot more in a few years.

- I didn't want to sell Denison but I sold it because it's an old house and it's high maintenance.

- So take care of the one you're in now to protect its value.

- It's too much work and too expensive.

- Is everything about expediency and convenience and you just want to sit back, do nothing, and collect money?

- Yes.

I know people come from different upbringings and histories and have different leanings and purposes in life. But I can't help feeling a little envious of the black women with family encouragement and pride in their heritage. And I think of all the middle-class Indians I encountered who are trying to get out of a hand-to-mouth existence who expressed how lucky they thought we foreigners are.