Friday, December 01, 2006

Working It

A while ago, Sis wanted to look for love online. She signed up on a couple of online dating web sites. So I signed up too, just to see how the system works. I made The Man sign up to see if we matched each other. When we called up each other's ID to compare, our scores indicated we were 80% compatible, but the data bank never matched us up. So I'm not sure how an electronic matching-making system works.

l have not visited these sites since that initial period. I know one of the sites had killed my ID from disuse. The other site has never found a match for me. I guess that makes me a difficult woman.

Now, more than a year later, I received six flags yesterday that the site has found matches for me. I logged in to the site and there were in fact 10 matches. I guess I hadn't noticed the other flags when they came. All these nameless and faceless men waiting to meet me.

Curious, I read the profile on each "match". Among them was an engineer, a math teacher, a self-employed person, a beauty salon and spa owner, a graphic designer, a philosopher, plus a TTC driver in Toronto. What did we have in common? From what I could see, we don't want any more children, we are not overly religious, we like the arts, we like the outdoors. If I go by the self descriptions, they are all nurturing and listen well, traits that are not attached to my profile. I guess someone's gotta give, and someone's gotta soak it up.

Two of the matches had already opted to end communication with me, citing the reason as "distance is too far to make it work". One also added "I don't see any chemistry." I am offended by this one, oh he who remains nameless and faceless, as do I.

So now, do I indicate I don't want to initiate communication and make these men looking for love feel rejected, or do I let the system time me out due to lack of response. What I opt to is an indication of a personality trait - am I a people person considerate of others' feelings, or do I grab the bull by the horns and direct my own destiny?

I will ignore the messages as if I hadn't seen them. After all, I'm not looking for new love. I can barely manage the current one. In fact, I'll go in and kill my profile.

I see. That's why I received flags. I can't kill my profile. Then I have to ignore the flags.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you ever get to see any photos of your suitors? I've always wondered just how recent the pictures are that people post of themselves, or if they've ever been retouched at all. Ah, the wonders of Airbrushing....

The Sylph said...

The site that sent me matches requires that I pay and subscribe to the next level of service before showing me the photos, but only if the suitor had uploaded one. I refuse to pay. No, I didn't provide a photo of myself.

On other sites, you do get to see photos. Some of them are ugly pictures taken at awful angles. You'd think people would want to look good in photos for dating purpose. Yes, I wonder about the ones where the man looks like an Armani model. I bet in fact they just pull a model's picture from cyberspace to use.

Anonymous said...

After my husband died I thought of internet dateing and signed up on a free site. I gave my profile-sans picture and got numerous replies. I found that most men were pumped on themselves. The really interesting ones lived too far away. I actually agreed to meet one at a local pub. He was nice but extremely boreing. Last time I checked, He's still out there looking for the perfect match. I have deleated my profile but still take a gander. Perhaps if I stop looking the right man will come along. However, I'm rather happy in my present place of mind.