My mother has a way of conveying information that makes me panic. She delivers her news urgently, as if the situation needs to be rectified immediately or it'll be too late. She shouts out the information without context. It requires detective work to decipher what she's talking about. The phone call today.
"Hello?"
"Wah, $550 this month for the hydro. Why is that?"
"Your hydro bill?"
"No, why would I use so much hydro."
"Whose hydro bill?"
"The rented house."
"I don't know why it's $550 this month."
"It's never been that much before, never in the 20 years has the hydro bill been that high for that house."
"Someone must've been using the hydro a lot, or you are being charged for something else."
"What are they doing that uses so much hydro?"
"I don't know."
"Call them to find out."
'I'd like to look at the bill first to see what the charges are."
"Call the hydro company and see why they've billed me so much."
"I want to look at the bill first."
"We have to sort this out right away."
"I'll be there Wednesday, so I'll look at the bill then."
"But I got the bill today."
"It can wait till Wednesday."
"Okay, nothing else I could do then."
I bet she's phoned my sibs and thrown the same problem at them.
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`Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
`I don't much care where--' said Alice.`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
`--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.
`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough.'
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`In that direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, `lives a Hatter: and in that direction,' waving the other paw, `lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.'
`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on `And how do you know that you're mad?'
3 comments:
It's like De Ja Vu. I'm sure I've heard this exact conversation before. Around 6 pm tonight, I think.
Glad my cell phone was off until 8 pm. Someone called my home phone around 6:30 pm and hung up without leaving a message.
I'd investigate the possibility of the tenants having a Grow-op. An unusually high Hydro bill is often a red flag. Hey, maybe you can score.
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