What The Dickens

The Boy told me a funny story last night about a grade 11 student, Marvin. As a culminating activity in English, he had to make a presentation to the class about a book they had read. When the students were seated, the teacher said, "Okay Marvin, you're up."

Marvin, not having done his work nor read his book, had no material to present. He said to the teacher, "Okay, but can I go to the washroom first?" The teacher said sure.

Marvin then ran as fast as he could to the library and got on the internet. He thought, "Let's see, the book is by Charles Dickens so there must be a class theme." He googled "Class Prejudice Dickens", clicked on the first item that came up and printed it. Then he ran back into the class to make his presentation.

Facing the class, he said, "In Dickens' time, there were many classes of people." He drew four squares on the board, labelling the first Upper Class, the second Middle Class, the third Lower Class, and the fourth The Rest.

He glanced at his printout and picked up a word. He said, "It was impossible to move between the classes because they were locked." He drew a door in each square, then a lock on each door.

"But according to..." He referred to his note. "According to Professor Stanley from Sandford University, you could move to a different class if you had the key." He drew keys to each lock.

He went on this way without ever referring specifically to his book. Half the class was bent over with silent laughter. The teacher sat and listened with a grimace. When he finished, he thanked everyone for their attention and sat down. After class, he said to his friend in the hallway, "What was the name of that book we were supposed to have read?"

The Boy said Marvin had set a new standard of unpreparedness. Maybe. But you gotta give the guy credit for being quick and ballsy, and having general knowledge of Dickens. Can't wait to hear what grade he got.