Don't Anyone Blush Now

...because I'm doing that for you.

Tonight, I attended a sex workshop called:

Bigger, Better and Multiples: Orgasms for Women
Learn how to have multiple, extended, and full-body orgasms. Learn to orgasm in new ways, including during intercourse with G-spot orgasms. Gather tips and techniques for expanding pleasure and for enjoying multiple, more powerful and longer-lasting orgasms that can blow you away, whether going solo or with a partner. Women and trans people only.

Sis and I went as women.

It was an investigative type of outing for us - her being a shrink and me being her sister and all that.

Right. So then, the workshop was three hours long. I don't know what the other workshop participants thought, but I certainly wondered, given the lure of the course description, what can one learn in three hours, and would we have to have sex with each other to experience what's being taught. Just where is this workshop taking place anyway, some seedy part of town that never sees daylight?

It took place on Harbord Street, right across from Central Tech High School, a skip and a hop from the University of Toronto, with many restaurants around it, and a few doors down from Parent Books. A safe enough location. Apparently, every time they offer this workshop, which is about monthly, it is sold out.

There were about 15 of us in the workshop. I don't think there were trans people there. This being an evening course, I tried to see if anyone was sprouting a shadow. I didn't see any. I think all the women in the room were real and quite normal looking, which was a little disappointing, although our instructor was a stunning bisexual with a slender physique and carefree walk that made you think of being in the wild. Ever since Brokeback Mountain, my friend Outrageous and I have this thing about men in the wild. Oh I digress, I digress.

So how to have bigger, better, and more orgasms as a woman. Apparently, you need toys, and practice. The instructor showed us lots of toys, and video clips of women practising. I don't know about that. Toys seem so surgically cold and invasive to me. I find nothing erotic about having an electronic tool with moving parts plugged into you. It is self-imposed absurdity. But I guess the whole sex act is kind of absurd.

Call me old fashioned, but I figure it's like eating red meat. I don't indulge often, but when I do, I like a really succulent piece of filet mignon, grilled plain. Don't mask my meat with condiments. But if the meat is not robust or lacking in tenderness, then I want my meat stewed with spices and sauces to give me flavour. I prefer the naturalness of pure raw quality.

I did learn there are lots of sex nerves where you wouldn't expect, and I know where my G-spot is now. I learned how to do kegel exercises properly too. Who knew it'd take a sex workshop to help with my incontinence problem. But I'm going to need me a boyfriend to try out some of the theories and practise the techniques, you know, so as to get ready for when The Man comes home.