...Tucker and I eat dinner out often these days. It's usually steak one night, a couple of hot dogs the next, a few pizzas the day after that. After a while, I felt that my diet may not be all that healthy. I was noticing grease stains in the shape of my body on the couch when I got off it. I couldn't smell my bad breath in the morning because of the grease on my skin.
That night, Tucker phoned. "Hey, where do you want to eat?"
"Um, um, I don't want to eat out."
"What? What's wrong? You mad at me?"
"No. I just don't feel like going out."
"Want me to take you to the doctor?"
"No, no. Look, to be honest, I think the way we've been eating just isn't healthy and I want to take a break."
"No, man. You love steak. Let's go have one and you'll feel better."
"I don't feel steaky right now."
"How about ribs then. You love ribs."
"That's the problem. Steak, ribs, hot dogs, pizzas, all the time. It's not healthy."
"What, you suddenly gone healthy on me or something. I thought we were the brotherhood of beef."
"The brotherhood...? Tucker, have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? I looked in the mirror today. I didn't like what I saw. Did you know that I can lay in bed and use my stomach as a table for my laptop?"
"Cool."
"No, it's not cool. It's disgusting."
"Okay okay, why don't you come over and I'll cook for you. I'll even come pick you up."
"Tucker, you don't have food in the house."
"I'll stop by the supermarket and pick some up on the way over."
"Tucker, you don't know how to cook."
"I'll get fruit. All kinds of fruit stuff. I'll make you a fruit salad."
"You'd do that?"
"Yeah, yeah. And you know, we'll make it fun. I'll get some of those corn dogs with dough to use as chopsticks."
"Pogo sticks?"
"Yeah, we use them to eat the fruit salad and then we can eat the chopsticks after."
"Deep fried hot dogs with fruit salad? That defeats the purpose of having fruit salad."
"No, not defeat. It's a compromise."
I don't remember how the story ended. But it made me laugh and laugh in the car. My siblings and I have stopped noting our daily food intake; the job had not deterred us from overeating. We've given up on dieting. It was really funny to hear this story just when we've given up.
That night, Tucker phoned. "Hey, where do you want to eat?"
"Um, um, I don't want to eat out."
"What? What's wrong? You mad at me?"
"No. I just don't feel like going out."
"Want me to take you to the doctor?"
"No, no. Look, to be honest, I think the way we've been eating just isn't healthy and I want to take a break."
"No, man. You love steak. Let's go have one and you'll feel better."
"I don't feel steaky right now."
"How about ribs then. You love ribs."
"That's the problem. Steak, ribs, hot dogs, pizzas, all the time. It's not healthy."
"What, you suddenly gone healthy on me or something. I thought we were the brotherhood of beef."
"The brotherhood...? Tucker, have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? I looked in the mirror today. I didn't like what I saw. Did you know that I can lay in bed and use my stomach as a table for my laptop?"
"Cool."
"No, it's not cool. It's disgusting."
"Okay okay, why don't you come over and I'll cook for you. I'll even come pick you up."
"Tucker, you don't have food in the house."
"I'll stop by the supermarket and pick some up on the way over."
"Tucker, you don't know how to cook."
"I'll get fruit. All kinds of fruit stuff. I'll make you a fruit salad."
"You'd do that?"
"Yeah, yeah. And you know, we'll make it fun. I'll get some of those corn dogs with dough to use as chopsticks."
"Pogo sticks?"
"Yeah, we use them to eat the fruit salad and then we can eat the chopsticks after."
"Deep fried hot dogs with fruit salad? That defeats the purpose of having fruit salad."
"No, not defeat. It's a compromise."
I don't remember how the story ended. But it made me laugh and laugh in the car. My siblings and I have stopped noting our daily food intake; the job had not deterred us from overeating. We've given up on dieting. It was really funny to hear this story just when we've given up.
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