Even from afar, The Man makes me laugh like no one can. He phoned this morning to tell me this:
Tasi, my scraggy Afghan Hound, is an old dog. His housemate has been looking for a new home for her so she can live out her days well cared for. Last week, she found a family that lives outside Kabul. The family has lots of space for Tasi to run around in, they have other dogs to keep Tasi company, and these other dogs look well cared for. So Tasi is gone.
But The Man's house guards feel they need an animal on the premises. One morning, as he was leaving the house, the guards approached him.
"We want to get a guard duck. Will you pay for its food?" they asked,
"A guard duck?"
"Yes."
"Duck? Quack quack?"
"Yes, yes, quack quack."
"Sure," he said, thinking guard ducks must an Afghani thing.
The Man went off to his friend's for brunch. There, he saw his housemate and told her about their guards' request for a guard duck.
She said, "You mean a guard dog?"
"No, they said duck. Quack quack."
"Quack quack, woof woof, it's probably the same to them."
Meanwhile, one of the guards went to a nearby ravine and grabbed a stray puppy. When The Man got home, the guards said, "New dog," pointing at the puppy in the yard.
"I thought you were getting a duck."
"No, dog."
So now The Man has the responsibility of providing for the new dog. But here's the thing I'm wondering. Even if the guards really meant "duck", did The Man feel safe knowing a duck was going to guard his house? Maybe that's why I love being with The Man. He makes me laugh at all our foilables and imperfections. In the end, life is still pretty great.
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`Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
`I don't much care where--' said Alice.`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
`--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.
`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough.'
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`In that direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, `lives a Hatter: and in that direction,' waving the other paw, `lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.'
`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on `And how do you know that you're mad?'
2 comments:
I suppos Ducks cold potentialy be good guards only as much as they certainly are loud when sonding an alarm, however, as vicious as they cold be, they definately don't go for the jugular! So now the man has a puppy to guard the house. The Duck would have been better in the short term! And i always thought the man didn't like pets- Go figure!
Not exactly ducks. But still...
The unbridable watchdog
Geese with their exceptional eyesight and wide field of vision, combined with their strident voices, make excellent guards against approaching strangers or predators since outsiders cannot calm them into silence. This was shown in 390 BC, when Rome was attacked by Gallic troops. It was the alertness of the holy geese housed in the temple of the city's fort that allowed the defenders to wake in time to resist the attacking enemy. Today, in the high Andes, Southeast Asia and many other places, geese replace guard dogs. In Europe, they are used to guard whiskey warehouses and sensitive military installations (National Research Council, 1991).
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