The Boys In the Band

I know sometimes I paint a golden picture of The Boy and his friends. But it's hard not to. Take this weekend for instance.

The boys have a rock band now. They call themselves Asteroid M Goes To The Zoo. My Friend's son was turning 17 and wanted a big party. So Birthday Son asked The Boy and his band to play at his party.

The transportation of instruments and equipment involved several sets of parents. For my part, I rented a van, picked up the boys after school, and they loaded their stuff into the van.

As the boys moved about, Butterfly Boy noticed me in the driver's seat. He blew kisses at me through the van window. How is it he's not afraid of being teased by his friends for doing such things? How is it his friends don't tease him?

Once we got on the road, the boys talked about their teachers and the events that unfolded that day. Out of no where, Butterfly Boy said to me,

"Sylph, what do you think of Girlfriend?" She wasn't in the van with us, but she did go up to Deerhurst with us over the Christmas break.

"Wow, that is so girly," I said. "I only know girls and women who ask each other what they think of their boyfriends."

"Oh, oh that explains a lot of things," teased Ry, another boy in the van. "But he needs your approval."

"Yes, I need your approval," chirped Butterfly Boy.

What could I say? I answered truthfully, "I like her very much. I liked that she offered to help me at the cottage. She's a nice girl. But you wouldn't choose someone nasty."

Butterfly Boy beamed. Later, he asked, "How has it been with The Man away? Is it difficult being without him?"

He asked this in the natural flow of conversation. That is, the boys jumped from conversation to conversation as they put in some last minute singing practice and it felt natural that he should inquire after me as one of the topics of conversation.

When we got to the house where they were to play, the boys directed me to weave the unfamiliar van through the snowy troughs of the unplowed street into the snowy driveway to avoid the snow bank. They jumped out with energy and moved their equipment into the host's house with care, making sure they did not drag snow and mud into the house or damage their instruments. Then they offered to pay me for the van rental. I declined.

Now, compare them to the handful of guests who were already inside the house at the party. My boys went in first and said a cheerful hello to everyone they saw. The boys in the house barely acknowledged the new arrivals. When I went in to say hello, one grunted hello back. None offered to help. Some went upstairs to watch TV.

After the party, Friend told me she had a nice chat with The Boy and his friends. They are such nice boys, so outgoing and well-mannered, and they played beautifully, they were the highlight of the party, she enthused. I just knew that was the truth.

The next day, The Boy and his friend Drew went back to the party house to get their equipment. Birthday Son was also there with two of his friends. Everyone did what they had to do and Friend drove The Boy back. The Boy said, "Birthday Son is okay, but his friends are so glum. Throughout the ride home, I told Friend about what I'm doing at school, but the other kids said nothing. Even when Friend asked them questions, they didn't even say yes or no, they just grunted."

I don't know if The Boy and his friends are typical teenagers. I just know they are performing arts majors with extroverted personalities, so focused on their musicianship, so supported by their families, and I am so glad I sometimes get to spend time with them.