The Circle Of Life

A friend spent two weeks in South Africa with her family recently. The purpose of the trip was to visit her mother-in-law and her husband's family. This was the first family reunion for her husband since his father passed away last year.

It was an important trip for Friend, as she was concerned that her husband had not grieved for his father. She thought he would cry when reunited with his family. Over the course of the trip, Friend encouraged her husband and mother-in-law to spend mother and son time together. She thought they would help each other grieve and heal.

Instead, what she saw always was chit-chatting, sometimes sadness, but not much more.

On the last day of their trip, she was troubled, thinking that an opportunity for grieving and healing was lost. It had rained for most of the day, so towards the late afternoon, when the rain cleared and the sun came out, she, her husband and son went for a last stroll on the beach. Her husband and son ran ahead.

As she came around a large rock, she looked up. There was a rainbow in the sky stretching from one end of the beach to the other. The whole rainbow was in her view. She was so awestruck by the beauty of it that she gasped and threw her arms up. In that instant, she felt her body connected to the rainbow, as if she was holding each end of the rainbow in her outstretched hands. Through her arms, the rainbow formed a complete circle. Inside that circle, she saw her husband and son playing in the sand ahead. She then understood this was the circle of life. Her father-in-law may be gone, but life continues through his son and grandson. She was instrumental to the continuation of this circle and was there to bear witness to it.

This moment of clarity and transcendence passed. She felt it was okay that her husband didn't cry. Later, her husband told her he was not one to wail with emotion; his grief was private, silent and dignified. She felt that was just fine too.