Tough Love

A friend said this summer there comes a time in every parent-child relationship where the child is so obnoxious to the parent and it becomes such an odious task to look after the child that the parent can't wait for the child to move out. That maybe that's nature's way of transitting the parent, epsecially mothers, through the parent-child separation process. I think that time is coming for The Boy and me.

Times are tough for us. I suspected but am distressed to confirm he'd turned into a young man who takes his perks for granted. I don't support him having freedom and privilege without responsibility.

Last week, he enrolled in an alternative high school for a semester, taking three courses to raise his GPA. He's decided he's no longer interested in cinema studies and will therefore apply to other university programs in the Spring, though he still isn't sure what these programs will be. In the first week, he missed two days of school and was late once. All because he slept in. He was trying to recover from late night he had. He also did not tend to some chores I asked him to do.

The same week, I met with his friend and his friend's mother and attended an information session with them to learn about a weekend program that nets the boys a certificate to teach English abroad. The boys wanted to take the program together and we mothers agreed. The course was to start yesterday. I asked The Boy to be home Friday night by midnight as a show he was serious about taking the program. He did not make it. I phoned him to find he was still at his friend's. I gave him a second chance to show his seriousness about the program by coming home immediately. He did not. As a result, I kiboshed his program on Saturday morning.

Much argument ensued. He had let his social life interfere with his grades in high school so now he is now taking courses to upgrade. He let his social life cost him his trip to Montreal, and now, his social life has cost him the teaching program. Since he could not sign up for the program, his friend did not either. He has let his friend down.

How did he turn out to be so irresponsible? He now agrees he should take what I say seriously, that he needs to get home earlier at night in order to get to school on time the next morning, and that he needs to shape up before taking the teaching program. But I know he was placating me so he could leave the house to meet his friends. I am prepared to kick him out of the house the next time he botches up.