They're So Stoopid

There is a store on College I go to sometimes. It used to be an electronics store selling computers, cameras and the like at discount prices. Lately, I see they sell other things too, like toothbrushes, fans, garden tools, bleach, lights, and gadgetry items. Especially gadgetry items.

Last week, I went in for no reason and bought food covers for camping so bugs won't get into your food while you are serving, mosquito bracelets that repel mosquitoes if you wear one, and a pair of battery operated lights that respond to sound. What kind of sound? The packaging said footsteps, banging, voice, clapping. Neat, I thought. I would get a pair and install them by the front door so that when we come home at night, the lights will turn on.

Today, I installed the lights. I was excited at nightfall to try out my lights. I went outside. I slammed the front door. The lights didn't come on. I stomped around on the porch. It was still dark. I called out Hey yoohooyoo. Nothing. I clapped my hands. Nada. I clapped my hands closer to one of the lights. Voila! It came on. I clapped my hands close to the other light. It came on too.

I tested more sounds and did more clapping. I concluded that the lights only come on when you clap kind of close to them. Or at least a loud clap in the direction of the light. The lights stay on for 10 seconds.

Well what the hell good is that? If I come home late and the street is dark, I have to clap loudly and move quickly to get my keys out to open the door. If I don't find my keys and identify the right one for my door lock within 10 seconds, I have to keep clapping to keep the light on so I can continue searching. That is so stupid.

But now that I've bought special batteries for the lights and mounted them with my electric drill and all, I don't want to take them down. What would I do with them anyway if I don't leave them up? But they are such stupid lights. No, I am not stupid to have bought them. It was a great idea that didn't quite live up to its potential.