The Boy's been bringing home different girls almost every day. They go in his room, listen to music and sing along. They write music, play on the keyboard, strum the guitar. They call down for food and I make it for them. I go in and out of the house, I visit neighbours, I work in the garden. While I am outside, I don't know what's happening in his room, though I suspect more of the same as when I'm inside.
So while he was on his computer one day, I walked into his room and said, "Hey, do you need condoms?"
"What? No."
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"No."
"Do you know how to buy condoms?"
"Mom, this is awkward. I don't want to talk like this with you."
"Look, I'm just trying to keep everyone safe."
"Not necessary."
"Should I just get a box and leave it in your room?"
He looked up at me and in a most serious tone said, "If you do that, I swear I will march up to you and tell you to put up your dukes. Then I will fight you."
"So what are you saying? You want some?"
"No."
"But you know what to do if you need any?"
"I'm not talking about this."
"You know what dad says...'No glove, no love.'"
"You're not half as funny as you think you are."
Well, I think that went rather well.
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6 comments:
I keep telling ya, his gal pals are going to find it really, really strange when he stands there naked with wearing a glove on his hand.
I think this is a discussion that his Dad or Uncle (Dad's bro) needs to have with him.
You think that could be the problem with Michael Jackson?
I sent The Man and The Boy to New York to have this talk and they didn't. Why not you have this chat with him? No, wait. Better to find someone who actually had girls swarming around him when young. :D
And that's why he needs to wear the glove. If he were a one-gal guy, committed, confident, without the need to spread his seed to prove his manhood, no one need have a chat with him.
I had my swarm in my youth. I just never bragged about it. You see, I didn't have anything to prove.
I still think he'll look silly though, standing there naked wearing a glove. Give the kid a connie.
Haveing raised 3 DAUGHTERS! and haveing said to them "no glove, no love" my suggestion to you is - buy him a box of condems and tell him to act responsibly. Simply leave it at that. He is no longer a Boy, He is a smart young man.
A good looking kid at the peak of his hormonal surges alone with girls in his bedroom and they're just singing? Gal pals? He doesn't want condoms? Have you ever considered that he might not like women that way?
Sparky - Oh, you mean those highly trained, undercover, silent, secret, invisible swarmers were yours?
FF - Stop projecting.
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