The Boy just turned 15. He often acts 8. For his birthday weekend, he had two sleepovers, back to back. That means two nights of going to bed late. He ate junk food and drank Coke most of the time. Without being a party-pooper, what can a mother do?
On Monday, he refused the healthy meatball and vegetable soup I made for dinner. Instead, he ate Goldfish, chips and had more Coke. I am trying to treat him like a 15 year old. I warned him against such a diet. He scoffed at me, turned tail, and ensconced himself in the basement all evening to watch TV.
He is living in the basement for two weeks because we have a guest in the house who is using his bedroom. He doesn't mind giving up his bedroom because he loves sleeping in the basement anyway. That's where all his sleepovers take place. That's where the TV is.
So despite all my protests against his late nights and poor diet, and me trying not to lay down the heavy hand of the disciplinarian, I let him be, now that he's 15.
Last night, I had my regular insomnia night (happens at least once a week). At 2:30 a.m., I heard the bathroom vent in the basement come alive. When this vent is on, you can feel it vibrate throughout the house. Imagine it coming on suddenly in the middle of the night. That's why I heard it on the second floor, in my bedroom, with the door closed, beside the snoring Man.
I came down to the basement to investigate. The basement was filled with the stench of diarrhea. The Boy was not in bed. I called out to Boy in the bathroom. No answer. I went right up to the bathroom door where the stench got worse and called out in a loud day voice. No answer. He must be in the bathroom, I reasoned. Concerned, I tapped on the door and jiggled the door handle. Boy screamed and hollered in fear, as if I was the Boogeyman coming to get him. He confirmed he was sick but didn't need my help. Thank god for that, I said to myself, and went upstairs.
A few minutes later, he called to see where I was. I told him I was sitting in the living room upstairs. A few minutes after that, I heard flushing and running tap water, then he came upstairs. I fixed him with some water, juice, Tylenol for his sore throat, and he went back to bed. As I sat there, I think, He's sick because of lack of sleep and junk food. I have to stick to the law. He cannot have sleepovers back to back. I will have to figure out a way to curb his junk food intake and still have him be in control. Just then, he called out to me again. It was now 3:30 a.m.
Mom?
What is it? I shouted down to him in the middle of the night with two people sound asleep upstairs.
Can you come here?
I went to the top of the basement stairs holding my nose. Why? I called out.
Can you sit with me?
The poor boy, I thought. He's sick and he wants comfort. But god, I don't want to sit in that stench. He brought this on himself. I'm tired. I'm not going to sit with him, damn it.
No, I said, I'm not coming down, because I can't breath down there. How's that for being a devoted mother. But I'll stay up here till you fall asleep.
Oh, he said, disappointed.
I refrained from lecturing him, from saying, you brought this on yourself. Instead, I said, I'll check on you before I go back to bed.
Later, at 4:00 a.m., when the stench went away, I did check on him. He seemed okay. Yes, that was me at 4:00 a.m. in the basement bathroom disinfecting the toilet bowl, scrubbing the rim and wiping clean the seat so that in the morning, the Boy wouldn't freak out about the brown streaks all over the bowl and refuse to pee in it. Then I went to bed, feeling resentful.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I can't help feeling that a lack of disciplin in a teenager whether self imposed or forced upon him is unhealthy. He needs to get into a routine of healthy lifestyle choices, whether it's food choices or good sleep hygiene. Your own poor sleep habits may be genetically passed on from your Mom. This gene, if there is one, may be passed on to Boy. It may be a dormant gene just waiting to surface with just the right combination of poor sleep hygiene and perhaps a trauma in life, the loss of a girlfriend, a firing from a job, etc. Good sleep will fortify the boy to better withstand life's unfair stressors. Good diet will further protect him. I understand the need to allow him the freedom to choose, the power, dignity and sense of self worth that comes from having that choice and being independent. However, he does not suffer immediate consequences from such poor choices. He will suffer later in life when the poor lifestyle choices become unbreakable habits. As a teenager, he still has time to cultivate good habits encouraged and maybe enforced by parental influence while there is still some. You say hold on, he does suffer. Look at the diarrhea. Unless you want to be less than truthful, it's unlikely the poor diet that caused the diarrhea because he has a sore throat along with it. He probably caught a virus. His immune system was weakened by a lack of sleep and poor diet of course which allowed the virus to take hold. You can explain this connection to him. It's a tenous link and once he feels better, the self deluded feelings of invulnerabily that accompanies youth will take over and he'll forget all about it and continue with what feels good which is to stay up late and eat junk food. Such is the nature of a teenage boy. I know, I was one. A little enforced disciplin may be called for with ample motivating talks and perhaps tangible rewards so as not to stifle creativity and liveliness of manner and demeanor. It's a fine balance and one that's difficult to establish and maintaine. I don't envy the task ahead of you. I dread when my turn will come. I'll call on you for advice then.
Post a Comment