Cousin, Cousine

The Man's cousin, I'll call her Kiki, is staying with us while she's visiting Canada. Kiki's mother and Man's father are brother and sister, so that makes Man and Kiki first cousins.

In 1949, Kiki's mother, I'll call her Jiki, had a daughter out of wedlock. She gave the daughter up for adoption. In the mid-1980s, this daughter, let's call her Liki, found Jiki in Australia. Liki's adoptive father started a service in the 80s to help adopted children locate their birth parents. I guess that's how Liki found her birth mother.

At that time, Jiki communicated with Liki for about two years by mail. There was a phone call. But Jiki finally told Liki she didn't want to communicate any more. However, Jiki kept Liki's correspondence and filed them away. She was a geneologist after all.

Jiki passed away two years ago. Her daughters from her marriage, Siki and Kiki came to Canada to reconnect with their mother's family. Kiki is now on her third visit to us. The last two times Kiki visited, she wanted to look Liki up. But she never had the time or the required information to locate her, what with so many relatives to visit and all. This time, Kiki made a point of getting the needed info to find Liki. Tonight, Kiki found her.

Liki is Kiki's half sister. Because Liki is also Jiki's daughter, that makes her Man's first cousin as well. That means, the Boy has another second cousin. I'm just an outsider watching all this.

Liki is 56, divorced and lives in Ottawa. She has two children in their twenties who are attending university in Guelph. Kiki and Liki are talking about meeting each other, either in Ottawa or in TO. It will probably happen this week or next. Certainly before Kiki returns to Australia.

They have never met, yet came from the same mother. Are they really such strangers? Will they feel an instant bond? What parallels exist in their lives that were genetically determined?

This is all very exciting and heart-warming, watching new family ties form. Liki had sought out her birth mother 20 years ago when she was in a difficult phase of life. Kiki and Siki reconnected with their mother's family after she passed away. The continuation of that process now is the search for their half sister, Liki. Life, loss, death and rebirth. Loss and death make us want to forge new ties to reaffirm life.

Can't wait to see how their lives are reshaped.